101 Things only Massachusetts Folks Would Understand

     1. The Red Sox World Series win was, and will      
     always be, one of the greatest moments in your     
     2. The guy driving in front of you is going 70 mph 
     and you're swearing at him for going too slow.     
     3. When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke.         
     4. You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country  
     as a kid.                                          
     5. You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.     
     6. You do not recognize the letter 'R' as a part   
     of the English language.                          
     7. Your social security number starts with a zero. 
     8. You can actually find your way around the       
     streets of Boston .                                
     9. You know what a 'regular' coffee is.            
     10. You keep an ice scraper in your car            
     11. You can tell the difference between a Revere   
     accent and a Dorchester accent.                    
     12. Springfield is located 'way out west.'         
     13. You almost feel disappointed if someone        
     doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or 
     steal their parking space.                         
     14. You know how to pronounce the names of towns   
     like Worcester, Billerica, Gloucester, Peabody and 
     Haverhill .                                        
     15. Anyone you don't know is a potential idiot     
     until proven otherwise.                            
     16. Paranoia sets in if you aren't within eyeshot  
     of a Dunkin Donuts or CVS Pharmacy at all times.   
     17. You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday   
     just to buy alcohol.                               
     18. You know how to pronounce Yastrzemski.         
     19. You know there's a trophy at the end of the    
     Bean Pot.                                          
     20. You order iced coffee in January.               
     21. You know that the Purple Line will take you    
     22. You love scorpion bowls.                       
     23. You know what they sell at a packie.           
     24. Sorry Manny, but number 24 means DEWEY EVANS.  
     25. You know what First Night is.                  
     26. You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat,     
     Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus. Bonus: You know how to 
     pronounce Seamus.                                  
     27. McLobster = McCrap                             
     28. You know at least 2 cops in 20 in your town because  
     they were your high school drinking buddies.       
     29. You know there are 6 New England states, but   
     that Connecticut really doesn't count.             
     30. You give incomprehensible directions to        
     tourists, feel bad when they drive off, but then   
     say to yourself, 'Ah, screw them!'                 
     31. You know at least one bar where you can get    
     something to drink after last call.                
     32. You hate the Kennedys, but you vote for them   
     33. You know holding onto the handrail when riding 
     the Green Line is not optional.                    
     34. The numbers 1978 and 1986 make you cringe.     
     35. You've been to Goodtimes.                      
     36. You think the rest of the country owes you for 
     Thanksgiving and Independence Day. (...and they    
     37. You have never actually been to 'Cheers.'       
     38. The words ' WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together.    
     39. You've been to Fenway Park .                   
     40. You've gone to at least one party at U Mass.   
     41. You own a 'Yankees Suck' shirt or hat.  
     42. You know what a frappe is.                     
     43. You've been to Hempfest.                       
     44. You know who Frank Averuch is.                 
     45. Bonus: You know Frank Averuch was once Bozo 
     the Clown.                                          
     46. You can complete the following: 'Lynn, Lynn,  
     47. You get pissed off when a restaurant serves    
     clam chowder, and it turns out to be friggin'      
     48. You actually know how to merge from six lanes  
     of traffic down to one.                            
     49. The TV weatherman is damn good if he's right   
     25% of the time.                                   
     50.. You never go to Cape Cod, you go 'down ta the    
     Cape '.                                            
     Bonus: People that live in Wareham say you are on  
     Cape Cod when actually you have to go over the     
     bridges to be on Cape Cod .                        
     51. You think that Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon 
     are more evil than Whitey Bulger.                  
     52. You know who Whitey Bulger is.                 
     53. You went to the Swan Boats, House of Seven     
     Gables, or Plymouth Plantation on a field trip in  
     elementary school.                                  
     54. Bobby Orr is loved as much as Larry Bird, Tom  
     Brady, and Ted Williams. Maybe more.               
     55. You remember Major Mudd.                       
     56. You know what candlepin bowling is.            
     57. You can drive from the mountains to the ocean 
     all in one day.                                    
     58. You know Scollay Square once stood where        
     Government Center is.                              
     59. When you were a kid, Rex Trailer was the coolest guy around.       

     60.  You remember the words to "Boom Town".                         
     61. Calling Carrabba's an 'Italian' restaurant is  
     62. You still have your old Flexible Flyer         
     somewhere in your parents' attic.                  
     63. You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of    
     strange weather dividing line.                      
     64. The only time you've been on the Freedom      
     Trail is when relatives are in town.               
     65. The Big Dig tunnel disaster wasn't a surprise. 
     66. You call guys you've just met 'Chief' or     
     67. 4:15 pm and pitch black out means only 3 more  
     shopping days until Christmas.                     
     68. You know more than one person with the last    
     name Murphy.                                       
     69. You refer to Savin Hill as 'Stab 'n Kill.'     
     70. You've never eaten at Durgin Park, but         
     recommend it to tourists.                          
     71. You can't look at the zip code 02134 without   
     singing it.                                        
     72. You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor  
     just to screw with the rest of the country.        
     73. 11 pm? Drunk? It means one thing: Kowloons!    
     74. 2 am? Drunk? It means one thing: Kelly's Roast 
     Beef! The one on Revere Beach , not the one on     
     Route 1.                                           
     75. 5 am? Drunk? It means one thing: You wish you  
         had a blanket in your back seat.                   
     76. You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new   
     rap group..                                        
     77. People you don't like are all 'bastids.'       
     78. You took off school or work for the Patriots'  
     first Super Bowl Win Parade.                       
     79. You've called something 'wicked pissa.'        
     80. You'll always get razzed for Dukakis.  And rightfully so -  the piece of crap.          
     81. Saturday afternoons meant Creature Double      
     Feature with Dale Dorman.                          
     82. Sunday mornings meant The Three Stooges on     
     Channel 38.                                         
     83. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a       
     84. No, you don't trust the Gorton's Fisherman.    
     85. You know that Papa Gino's usually has a        
     86. You think Aerosmith is the greatest rock band  
     of all time.  J Geils was even better                           
     87. Your town has at least 6 pizza and roast beef  
     shops.  Or chinese.                                            
     88. You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and 
     a Frankie.                                         
     89. 20 degrees is downright balmy as long as       
     there's no wind -- then it gets wicked cold.       
     90. You were very sad when saying goodbye to the   
     Boston Garden .                                    
     91. Thanksgiving means family, turkey, High School
     football, and the long version of Alice's          
     92. You know the guy who founded the Boston Pops   
     was named Athah Feedlah.                           
     93. You know what the Combat Zone is.            
     94. You'll actually drive 45 minutes to New        
     Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax.                 
     95. You've pulled out of a side street and used    
     your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make
     a left.                                           
     96. You've bragged about the money you've saved at 
     the Christmas Tree Shop.                           
     97. You've been to Hampton Beach on a Saturday     
     98. Playing street hockey was a daily after school 
     99. Hearing an old lady shout 'Numbah 96 for Sioux 
     City !' means it's time for steak.                 
     100. You remember Jordan Marsh, Raymond's,         
     Filene's, Grants, Bradlees, Caldor, Zayres, or Ann 
     & Hope. Almy's,Gilcrest's, Kings, and Kennedy's.